The former couple shares three daughters — Luca, 26, Lola, 21, and Fiona, 17
Jennie Garth and ex Peter Facinelli are getting real about how they settled on shared custody and the challenges of co-parenting.
On the latest episode of her I Choose Me podcast, the actress, 52, sat down with her ex-husband, 50, to discuss their marriage 12 years after filing for divorce.
“When you first start a relationship with somebody, you don’t think about, what are we gonna do if this doesn’t work out? Like, how am I gonna co-parent with this person?” Garth says, adding, “So, we settled on shared custody, 50/50.”
The 90210 star admits that this decision to evenly split their time with daughters, Luca, 26, Lola, 21, and Fiona, 17, wasn’t easy. She says she initially experienced some regret with the decision.
“I know for me, there were times when I really emotionally regretted that decision and not fighting harder for more.,” she shares. “But at the same time, I knew that having them be 50% of their time with you, their father, was absolutely the best thing for them.”
Garth continues, “And, whatever I was dealing with, you know, that part of me that wanted to have them more was just me being selfish and thinking about myself, because it hurts so bad when they would leave.”
Facinelli also reveals he struggled with the idea of a 50/50 split.
“I mean, it was always hard. I think, listen, co-parenting is hard. Divorce is hard. I didn’t have a model for it. My parents weren’t divorced,” The Twilight actor says.
“We were flying blind,” Garth adds.
When initially planning their co-parenting lifestyle, the former couple says they asked themselves, “Where’s their home?”
As Garth explains, “Some parents will get what they call ‘nesting,’ and they’ll get one house. And the parents, you know, move back and forth. And we talked about that, I think, for a split second.”
Facinelli continues describing the challenges of co-parenting, saying, “It’s hard. You break up with somebody. You’re not in a relationship with them, and you still have to see them all the time. You still have to, you know, work with them. You’re making decisions together, and that’s not always easy, especially when, you know, sometimes the decisions aren’t something that you both agree on.”
The actor then shares that when it came to compromising on parenting decisions, “We found our way through it, and it wasn’t always fun.”
Even though “it wasn’t always pleasant,” he continues, “Our kids are on the other side of it. Our kids turned out really wonderful, and I feel like they needed both of us. You know? They really did benefit from having both of us.”
