“I just want to be proud of myself in 10 years on this season of my life,” said Kelsea Ballerini, who filed for divorce from husband Morgan Evans in August
Kelsea Ballerini is opening up about the big changes in her life.
In an interview with CBS Mornings that aired Monday, the 29-year-old country singer talked about dealing with her recent split from husband Morgan Evans while touring her new album Subject to Change.
“When there’s a big life decision like that, it’s not a sudden one — there is a lot that happens before that becomes public,” the “I Quit Drinking” singer said. “So I’m on my active healing journey, and a big part of that is showing up for this album and showing up for myself like I never have.”
Ballerini also admitted to being a “peacemaker” and “people-pleaser,” instincts she’s trying to fight in this new phase of her life. “To do something that kinda goes against those two things is really difficult and I’m really proud of myself,” she explained.
Regarding what led to her August divorce filing from Evans, 37, Ballerini said the decision was “not chaotic” nor “volatile.” She continued, “It just didn’t work.”
“That sometimes is a difficult narrative to get your head around when you’re just like, ‘Oh my gosh, this is a good person and I’m a good person and this just isn’t good anymore,’ ” she admitted.
Ballerini continued, “It’s easy to shame yourself and it’s easy to want to hide, and I just want to be proud of myself in 10 years on this season of my life. This is not just a heavy time in my life, this is also a celebratory time in my life. I don’t want to shade that because that’s important to feel.”
As for what the future holds, the singer said she’s already writing new songs and processing her emotions through them. “But I’m doing it for me,” she said. “I don’t know if I’ll ever put it out.”
She added, “I don’t know when I’ll put something else out. I need a break after this. I need to get my life together.”
Ballerini was 24 when she and Evans tied the knot in December 2017. Though she talked frequently about how the pair sought couples’ therapy, she filed for divorce from the musician in August.
Ahead of the release of her fourth studio album, Ballerini opened up to PEOPLE about the “beauty” and “messiness” in her soul-searching that inspired the record.
“It’s really my post-pandemic project. Like everyone else in the world, I was forced to sit in stillness and I’m not good at that,” the singer told PEOPLE. “I like to be in full sprint all the time, working and playing shows and making records. And that wasn’t an option. In that time I kind of woke up and I was like, ‘Oh, I’m not 19 anymore. That’s weird.’ And I have a lot of life to process and a lot of time to do it.”
Ballerini went on to say “That unraveling of all these beautiful, amazing experiences that I had gotten to have over the years in my career and my personal life … it really unlocked this honesty and more so than the honesty, the guts to go there in some ways.”
“And I think that’s heard throughout the whole project,” she added.
The album features 15 tracks, including her singles “Heartfirst,” “The Little Things” and “Love Is a Cowboy.” In its entirety, the album is meant to take her listeners through a journey and make them “feel seen.”
“I really want there to be something for everyone, which I know that’s a cliché term, but if you’re just experiencing growing up and the beauty of that, there’s something for you. The messiness of that, there’s a lot for you,” Ballerini said.
She explained, “If you’re experiencing love, there’s something for you. If you’re experiencing turmoil, there’s something for you and everything in between. It’s really a lot of self-discovery.”
“And then within that, there’s a lot of juxtaposition of dark and light on the journey it takes you through,” Ballerini said.
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